Even now, as I seek You
in this not so quiet place, and having
more questions than answers,
more doubt than faith,
I ask that You would have mercy
on me and extend grace.

If you love me,
reach for me in this place.

If I do not feel You near,
I will not turn and walk away.

I will wait, until
I am certain that I am
not loved by You, but tolerated;
that I am of a race of people that You
do not care for but have allowed
to abide out of graciousness.

I will wait, because
until now I have known You
not only as a Father,
Saviour, Protector and Friend,
but as a Lover who pursues me
aggressively at every turn.

I will wait, because
amidst the doubt and the fear
is the history that I have with You,
which is evidence that maybe, just maybe
everything that we have shared so far
has been real and You meant
every word You said.

prayer for grace amidst racial tension - gina leslie - 2014